I think we may be dancing around the real (to me) problem, that the game is unable to differentiate between different types of collisions, and (as has been mooted before) ignores the fact that real captains would ram less often than players, or would steer to mitigate the effects of potential rams.
We all know ramming situations occurred in real life, but why all the emphasis on friendly collisions? - I think the game should focus on gunfire and possibly boarding actions, and I think trying to get a good broadside is quite sufficient motivation for players to try to get side on to opponents without ramming, or having friendly ships in the way.

Just my tuppence worth tho'