To quote Hugh, "Oh, lord."Originally Posted by Bligh
To quote Hugh, "Oh, lord."
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Don't blame me Jim, Dave started it!
Rob.
What do you call a pirate with paperbacks attached to his earrings?
A Book-on-ear.
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!
Bligh.
Q: How do pirates pay for a round o' rum down at the pub?
A: With Bar-Nickels!
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
God one Jim.
If any of these can be rated as good!
Rob.
Well, I figure if they make me groan or chuckle they're good for something.God one Jim.
If any of these can be rated as good!
Rob.
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
How do ye turn a pirate furious?
Take the ‘p’. out of him.
Bligh.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You may think it's the RRRRR, but it's the C that they're in love with! Aye.
Bligh.
How do we know that Jake the Peg was a pirate?
Answer: Because he was a three-booter.
How pirates started using Arrh.
"The cannons be loaded, Capt'n"
"Are"
"We be ready, Cap'n"
"ARE!"
Two naval officers were on shore leave in Malaya. They found a river leading into a beautiful bay and decided to go swimming. They asked a local fisherman. "Are there any sharks in the bay today?" "No sharks.", he replied, so they went and enjoyed their swims.
Afterwards they found the fisherman again, thanked him and asked, "Are there ever sharks in the bay?". "No, never.", he replied,"Too many crocodiles!".
Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him.
Rob.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Rob.
This one made my wife groan.
Dobbs. I could not possibly comment.
Rob.
Q: What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
A: It gets wet.
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Yesss!
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Remember-the two most dangerous things in the navy are a Purser with a quill pen and paper, and a Midshipman with an idea.
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
I would suggest that an admiral with an idea is equally, if not more dangerous
Right on Dave.I would suggest that an admiral with an idea is equally, if not more dangerous
Thankfully for us Nelson with an idea, was dangerous in a totally different sort of way to most other Admirals.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?
A: It sinks to the bottom.
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Q: Where does seaweed look for a job?
A: In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat?
He was afraid of cap sizing.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
"What's your Halloween costume this year?"
"The most-terrifying thing in the universe -- a Midshipman with a map and compass."
My Midshipman went on a sailing course in Poole.
In Dorset?
Yes, I'd recommend it to anyone.
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nut less,
And practically useless on dates!
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: Why do pirates need lots of shampoo and conditioner?
A: Because they have coarse hair.
I saw a Boatswain's mate managing to juggle twenty rowing implements.
It was oar inspiring.
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: Why don’t oysters give to charity?
A: Because they’re shellfish.
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Big sale on rowing paddles at my local ship's chandlers.
It’s quite an oar deal.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: F sh
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
I’m not one for buoyancy, but whatever floats your boat…
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
What keeps the sea from flooding a dry dock?
Pier pressure.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
How do you cure constipation in a sailor?
"SHARK!"
A treasure ship on its way back to port.
About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate ship, skull and crossbones waving in the breeze!
"Captain, captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate. "First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea chest, and bring me my red shirt."
The first mate did so. Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship was repelled without casualties.
A few days later, the ship was again approached, this time by two pirate sloops! "Captain, captain, what should we do?" "First mate, bring me my red shirt!" The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought heroically, and managed to defeat both boarding parties, though they took many casualties. That night, the survivors had a great celebration.
The first mate asked the captain the secret of his bright red shirt. "It's simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not show, and the crew continues to fight without fear."
A week passed by, and as they were nearing their home port, when suddenly the lookout cried that ten ships of the enemy's Fleet were approaching!
"Captain, captain, we're in terrible trouble, what do we do?" The first mate looked expectantly at the miracle worker.
Pale with fear, the captain commanded, "First mate.... bring me my brown breeches!"
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
My Jolly boat crew are really too talkative.
They are always sticking their oar in.
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Why are fast Frigates like popular furniture stores?
Because they always seem to have gigantic sails on.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
“I saw a chap with a big bushy beard earlier.”
“Was it a naval beard?”
“No, it was on his chin like everyone else”.
Bligh.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Thanks Dave.
Baled me out again.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc!
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Found one at last Jim.
Thanks for standing in there.
3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Question: Who's that at the door?
Answer: A pirate with a wooden leg.
Questioner: Tell him to hop it.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
There's a Pirate at the Tavern door with a Bill.
Don't be silly it must be a Seagull with a hat on.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: What is a pirate's favorite element?
A: Aye. Ye might say aarrrrgon, but no, it's the element of surprise!
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
Good one Jim.
Two jokes in one.
Keep them coming.
Rob.
The Business of the commander-in-chief is first to bring an enemy fleet to battle on the most advantageous terms to himself, (I mean that of laying his ships close on board the enemy, as expeditiously as possible); and secondly to continue them there until the business is decided.
Q: Why don’t you ever see a pirate cry?
A: When they do, it’s a private tear!
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
A: What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?
Q: I’d like to buy an Aye!
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
In ancient times, seagoing vessels were much more fuel efficient. They got thousands of miles to the galleon.
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