Humor of the Sea

[David Manley]

Did someone mention parrots?

[Cpt Kangaroo]

OK, so how about another old one....

Dead Parrot Joke
A sailer brought a very limp parrot to a vet. As he lay his pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, but polly has passed away."

The distressed owner pleaded, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something!"

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room. He returned a few moments later with beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out.

A few moments later the vet returned with a cat. The cat jumped up on the examining table and sniffed delicately at the parrot. Then the cat sat back, shook its head sadly, meowed, and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the sailer and said, "I'm sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably ... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to him.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$250!" He yelled. "$250 just to tell me my bird is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20. BUT -- what with the Lab Report and the cat Scan -- it comes to $250."