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First family high jinks, or how to keep a 15yr old interested
The object of today’s game was to run the length of the game area, round the island at the far end and return to the start line
The following account was noted down by the Reverend Bartholomew Pew, one time Chaplain to His Majesties Naval prison for French Officers in Solihull, in 1845 from conversations that took place between 1803 and 1816 with various French officers.
The account of Commodore Henri Roquefort of a peculiar battle in the Caribbean in 1792, compiled from interviews and his own written memoirs.
“I was Enseigne de vaisseau de première classe, and second in command of the frigate Généreux under Capitaine de frégate Hector Van Rouge* .
The Généreux and the smaller Courageuse had been ordered to investigate some unusual sightings several days sailing from Haiti.
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As we approached the islands mentioned in the reports, our lookout reported sails approaching, by the colour, probably English.
The Capitaine ordered a careful approach to the oncoming vessel which we soon ascertained to be a small English frigate of some 30 or so guns#. With great skill, the Capitaine wore the ship to port at close range with the intention of raking the English through the bows without damage to ourselves. Unfortunately the perfidious English changed course at the last moment, bringing their own broadside to bear
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The English captain, obviously an unprincipled cochon**, had double shotted his guns
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The damage caused to our Sturdy French vessel was of little importance, save for the unfortunate injury to the redoubtable Van Rouge, who was obliged to leave the poop deck to seek the assistance of our chirurgien***. Oh, and a small party of our matelots were injured most grievously, some of them killed; a lucky shot for the English.
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The rotten little English tub took considerable damage from our skilled cannoniers, les pointeurs had aimed well. Our heavy shot made quite a mess of them I can tell you!
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We passed by the English without further ado, myself now in temporary command, and I ordered a return to our original course as I know our gallant Capitaine would have wished.
Our escort, the Courageuse later reported that about the time we were engaged in battle, they were also attacked by a much larger vessel## , the sailing and gunnery of which was so bad that most of its broadside was wasted over Neptune’s salty plain,
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Causing but little by way of damage to our little confrere, but again taking a sad toll of the crew.
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A little while later, the nasty little English tub which we had had to chastise earlier fired upon our escort at long range
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But their gunnery was again so bad that they could not even kill any of the fish in the sea!
I ordered signals hoisted to bring the Courageuse back on station with us, ready to round the island
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(At this point Hannah, sailing HMS Terpsichore, successfully rounded the islands at the French end of the table.
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As our ships came together, this was the moment when we were attacked by le grande calamar monstrueu!!****
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Sacré Bleu!***** The damage caused was terrible
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Our poor ship suffered much damage to the sails and rigging making it difficult to steer, particularly into the wind.
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Time and again, I sought to pass the island and so begin the voyage back to Haiti that our ship might be repaired, and the Capitaine receive better medical treatment
(The Kraaken now attacked Amy and HMS Vanguard
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Time and again, though my orders were sound, my diminished crew failed to sail the damaged Généreux around the island. The commander of Courageuse, Enseigne de vaisseau de deuxième classe Villeneuve### took his smaller easier to sail vessel round the island, abandoning me and my crew to fate. I blame him for poor Capitaine Van Rouge losing his leg to the gangrène******
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(With her next movement card, Hannah took HMS Terpsichore across the finish line, winning the game
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The Commodore related this tale to me one evening, over a meagre supper of good cheddar, indifferent bread and poor wine. I subsequently tracked down an officer who had served on the Vanguard during it’s time in the Carribees, and he assured me that at no time was such a creature ever seen by him or any other officer of His Majesties Navy, and that “that buffoon Roquefort” as he called him was “the poorest sailor I ever set eyes upon or heard of in any navy then or since”
I leave it to my reader to make his own conclusion.
* A naturalised Dutchman who sought to frenchifie his name from Van Rood
#HMS Terpsichore
**Officers: Swine
Ratings: Pig
***Officers: Surgeon
Ratings: Saw bones
##HMS Vanguard
****Officers: Giant Squid
Ratings: Kraaken’
*****Officers: Heavens above
Ratings: ‘ecky thump
###Later Vice Admiral Villeneuve, present at Trafalgar
******Officers: gangrene
Ratings: green stinky rot
