A merry riposte to Neil.
I plead it was no awful puns
Bligh set alight around you.
For Dave it was who lit the spark,
with bad joke to astound you.
Twas he that proved a catalyst,
When warning he did shun,
Which set the thread of jokes aflame,
Which caused brave men to run.
The fire once kindled, neer goes out
Until from puns you pluck it,
Then just like smoke it fades away,
This last lines wrong, so ignore it.
Bligh.
lol. Just as brilliant! Perhaps you two could be the new Gilbert and Sullivan?Originally Posted by Bligh
"It's not the towering sails, but the unseen wind that moves a ship."
–English Proverb
More like Laurel and Hardy if you ask me.lol. Just as brilliant! Perhaps you two could be the new Gilbert and Sullivan?
ARTIST: Gilbert and Sullivan
TITLE: The First Lord's Song
[HMS Pinafore]
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an attorney's firm
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor
And I polished up the handle of the big front door
I polished up that handle so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
He polished up that handle so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk
I served the writs with a smile so bland
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand
I copied all the letters in a hand so free
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
He copied all the letters in a hand so free
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the Pass Examination at the Institute
And that Pass Examination did so well for me
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
That Pass Examination did so well for he
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership
And that junior partnership I ween
Was the only ship that I ever had seen
But that kind of ship so suited me
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
But that kind of ship so suited he
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament
I always voted at my party's call
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navy
Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be
If you want to rise to the top of the tree
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navy
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navy
And now for the next broadside. You did not think you would get off that easily did you Dave?
Why do pirates wear eye patches?
They can’t afford an iPad!
Bligh.
Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.
How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.
What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie
What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
How did the pirate get his ship so cheaply?
It was on sail.
Rob.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
"Aye Matey."
Bligh.
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