There was a preacher who loved fishing almost as much as his "day job" -- his one weakness. Due to a jam-packed schedule, there came a period where he was unable to get in any fishing for several weeks in a row, and it was starting to bother him -- especially as the weather had been wonderful for fishing, but he couldn't get free to take advantage. Then he noticed a hole existed in his schedule -- but it was early-morning on Sunday, when he was supposed to be getting ready for the Meeting.

"Hmm," he thought, "prep-work doesn't take *that* long, especially if I recycle a previous sermon; then I can slip in a bit of fishing early, and be back in time for services. And given what my schedule's been like lately, He won't mind *too* much, will He?"

He made the necessary arrangements, and before dawn slipped out of the house and down to the marina, untied his boat, and sailed out to the ocean. Then he waited.

And waited. And waited. Nothing -- not a fish to be found.

He decides "Well, at least I got out -- now to head back." No sooner did that thought pass his mind than -- *WHAM*! Something slammed into his boat from below, tossing him over the side, and putting a hole in the hull which caused the boat to sink in moments.

Frantically, the preacher looked around, wondering what had happened. He saw soon enough -- the distinct triangular dorsal fin of one monster-sized shark. The fin cruised along a bit, then turned and headed directly for him at high speed.

Not knowing what else to do, and seeing that nose getting bigger and bigger -- and toothier and toothier -- the preacher clasped his hands, looked to the skies, and said: "Lord, I trust in this chastisement You have visited on me for violating the Sabbath. I understand, and I pray to You now, not that you save me, but that you teach that fish the virtues of being a Christian."

No sooner had he spoken those words than something impossible occurred -- the shark slowed, then stopped a few feet away, those flat, lifeless doll's-eyes seeming to bore into his soul. Then it raised its front half out of the water, folded its fins together before it, and said in a gargling, guttural voice:

"We thank Thee, Lord, for this bounty which You have provided for us today...."

>:)