These remind me of an interview my great grandfather did with an old salty sea Captain. The Captain had suffered many injuries in the line of duty. When my great grandfather met with him, he saw the abuse that the old man had taken and, out of curiosity, he asked about each thing he saw.

Sir, I see you have a beautiful scrimshaw peg on your left knee. "Yes, That is there to be sure that I can still walk on me own. It was that or a crutch, y' know."

Sir, What about that gleaming metal hook on your right hand. "I have that so I can still do a few things like climb the rigging. It also comes in handy for eating steak."

Sir, That is a nice jewel encrusted eye patch you have on eye. Why not a glass eye? "The patch makes me more intimidating, of course."

That all makes a lot of sense, but one thing Sir. Sir, why on earth do you have a 'ship's wheel' sticking out of your trouser front. "It's driving me nuts."