A MASH unit in South Vietnam is going about its business one day, when it receives word: A NV tank column is heading down the valley directly towards them. There's no time to bug out -- the tanks are already coming into view at the top of the valley. The commander of the MASH jumps on the horn: "To any friendly units: MASH unit under attack by hostile armor at location" and he gives his coordinates.

A pause, then a voice: "MASH unit, we can provide support. Can you provide specifics as to the location of the enemy?"

The MASH commander does so, and receives a reply: "Fire support on the way."

There follows a minute of... nothing. Dead silence, save for the wind and the distant rattle of tracks. Needless to say, the MASH commander is nervous, and gets on the radio: "This is MASH -- where's that fire support?"

A pause, then the unidentified voice: "Calm down will ya? We're twelve miles offshore."

At that moment, there is a thunderous roar overhead -- and the top of the valley where the NV tanks are assembling vanishes in a cloud of smoke, flame, and displaced earth. When the cloud settles a couple minutes later, the NV tanks -- not to mention most of the valley's terrain features -- have vanished.

The MASH commander stands there, stupefied, then remembers the radio, and says "MASH unit to unidentified friendly -- enemy destroyed. Many thanks."

And the voice responds: "You're welcome. USS _New Jersey_ out."

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